“I always felt lonely thinking this would be my reality, but shifting my mindset proved that it was the furthest thing from the truth”

It was the moment of realization for my client.

The concept of truth and reality is probably one of the most debatable subjects throughout history. It’s debated in law courts, history books, one on one situations, and even between an individual and themselves. 

Facts are presented, and different perspectives are expressed but it can be agreed that a single event will always be a combination of different stories being told by multiple people with a variety of perceptions. Therefore, creating reality as we know it and a belief system that goes on to shape the course of our lives.

In a previous blog, we talked about how our experiences of childhood shape our adulthood and how limiting beliefs hold us back from exuding our full potential. This heavily connects to how we viewed a certain event and what ‘truth’ we chose to apply to that event. 

One specific client came in with an issue of feeling constant loneliness, she expressed how hurt and vulnerable she felt whenever she was by herself thinking that she is not loved or appreciated because she wasn’t surrounded by others all the time. Consciously, she was fully aware of the fact that everyone including herself has their own life to deal with and a different set of priorities, subconsciously, however, there were certain triggers with unidentified root causes.

Immediately in the initial stages of NLP, the client was able to recall a specific scenario where she was an infant. This scenario was recognized as a core memory of her crying and her mother being too busy in the kitchen to pick her up to soothe her. Although this happened very early in her life and it was a ‘minor incident’ her subconscious mind was still able to form a belief that “I am alone” and “I am going to be left because I am not held”. 

These specific statements were rooted so deep and far in the past that it almost seemed unbelievable to have them come to the surface in conscious awareness but it has been proven again and again that such occurrences are valid, and that NLP therapy can help you regress to early memories and that they can impact your perception of yourself as well as the world around you.

Towards the end of the session, the client was able to view this memory from different angles and replace the “facts” she knew previously with new ones, therefore creating new beliefs. The new “facts” were simply that her mother was alone in the house and it was already difficult for her to balance between the chores she had and carrying her baby, it was never an act of intentional harm but facing challenges of motherhood. The new beliefs became “people will still love me the same whether they get caught up in their lives or are around me”.

The human brain will always be astonishing and the essence of personal development is to truly explore within own power of change. Trauma comes in different ages and severities but it will always have an influence on our bodies, behaviors, and what we attract in the future. 

For this specific story, small traumas like being not held because your mother is busy in the kitchen are enough to drag on and manifest as loneliness dilemmas in adulthood because infants have a completely different perception where this was a stressful situation leading to being triggered more often and activating the fight or flight mode. Infants who get early exposure to trauma are also more prone to developing stress-related illnesses, diabetes, PCOS, and cancer which are only some of the main examples of how it can manifest in our bodies as well.

Start your personal change journey today and break the negative behavior patterns that are holding you back.