‘Guidance with Tanja helped reframed my belief system and helped me attract a loving relationship.’
Love is defined differently by each one of us, to some it’s an amazing sensual feeling that paints life in beautiful colors, to others it’s draining and a restriction to freedom.
It all goes back to our experiences with the expression of love and how we received it. Being aware that people love you the way they know how to love is a powerful insight and it truly helps you understand why and where certain behaviors originate from in others.
Looking within to understand why you attract a certain type of people is the other missing piece of the puzzle that helps you know how much you value yourself and what behaviors you are willing to tolerate.
True love does not have conditions.
This is not to be confused with healthy boundaries each individual has, those ‘conditions’ are simply a reflection of the insecurities that the person expressing this type of love has. This is of course applicable to any type of relationship and believing that you need to act or be a certain way that is out of alignment with you in order to be loved is one of the most damaging concepts to your self-esteem and value system.
Recently, a woman chose to test out the NLP therapy system in order to identify the root cause of her constant anger. She explained that she has always been easily irritated and gets angry often at her romantic partners when she felt she was not being loved in the way she wanted to. In the beginning, she immediately became aware of two major subconscious beliefs she had about relationships, the first being “I can’t attract long-lasting relationships” and “Love is conditional”.
Identifying the root cause of painful emotions is liberating.
As she started working through each negative emotion she was able to identify the root cause when examining anger. When she was six years old, she was in the car with her dad who was very angry at something that happened prior to the car ride and he chose to inflict his pain on his daughter by giving her the silent treatment which is a horrible treatment to adults let alone to kids.
That specific action hurt her so much that she started believing from that day forward that he did not love her and if she would have been a ‘good girl none of this would have happened.
Growing up, she developed this belief that kept attracting partners who would treat her that way as well because she believed she deserved it and when they did, she would lash out at them.
This cycle kept occurring until she became aware of her beliefs and root cause through NLP. She chose to forgive her father for he only knew how to love her the way he was probably taught to and forgive herself for the lack of self-love. She went on to build a new belief system that is based on love being unconditional, her being worthy of it, and attracting a partner who would show her just that.
We become exposed to different forms of love every day, some lift us up and others break us down. You, however, get to choose what you are willing to tolerate and the ways you express love to yourself or others.
If you feel stuck with the concept of love, reach out and receive the guidance you need.
