Communicating your emotions and being honest is the usual recommendation when you are having issues with another person, but what if you already passed that stage and things just didn’t work out?

Certain events with other people can leave us hurt and in pain for long periods of time, especially if there were things left unsaid. The idea of missing out on the opportunity to say something or get closure is agonizing and sometimes we tend to hold on to the hope of reunion with whomever we were involved with just to get the peace or justice we have been waiting for. However, there is a way to relieve a great amount of pain and provide yourself closure to the wounds you carry. There are two techniques for this that cater to our writers and verbalists.

 The first one is to write a letter to whoever caused that pain

The purpose isn’t to give that person the letter considering they might be out of your life but it is to express all that is suppressed within and set an intention of forgiveness. This activity begins with sitting down in a peaceful environment and preferably somewhere quiet, you can either do it on paper or digitally (whatever you are comfortable with) and start by allowing all your emotions to flow.

It’s ok at this moment to let the emotions overcome you and you don’t have to rationalize why you are feeling what you are feeling or justify why they are valid. Those are your emotions, your perception and they are completely valid. Tell them exactly what you saw happened and how it made you react or think, and explain how you have been coping and where you stand at this current moment. Remember there is no pressure to be in a “good place” or “forgiving mood’, these things take time, and acknowledging how you actually feel is key to overcoming what happened. You can be mean, rude, angry, or even the complete opposite. This letter is your chance to let out everything you held on to that no longer serves you, this is you creating the opportunity for closure and paving the way to completely let go of the situation.

When you are done writing the letter, read it over, and pay attention to how you felt before and after writing it. Perhaps and change of perspective will occur or awareness of important details might arise. Whatever comes up can be taken as an arrow of guidance and what you do with that knowledge will be up to you completely.

The second option is to use the empty chair technique

Essentially, this provides an easier approach for those who wish to express themselves out loud and allows the possibility of unlocking different perspectives. First, you sit infant of an empty chair and visualize the person you had a conflict with. Apply the same method mentioned above and unload all your suppressed emotions. After you are done expressing your side of things, take a deep breath and sit in the opposite chair where the “person” is. This is where things become interesting as you take on the role of the same person you were confronting and you try to answer the imposed questions or statements made by you earlier.

Of course, this takes great amounts of energy and can be exhausting to do in one session so it’s important to stay alert to how you feel in the moment and stop to continue another time. This technique is helpful as it explores the internal conflict you face because of the relationship you had with that person and when certain points come to awareness, the healing excels. As we mentioned earlier, forgiveness is challenging in some situations and this exercise is one of many that can help you reach that state. It’s up to you to set the intention of pursuing it and once that happens, everything around you will fall into place.

Reach out today to get the help you need with overcoming difficult situations.